Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun
Question: I heard a secret about a friend of mine that would devastate her if she knew, but I’m pretty sure she would never find out unless I was the one to tell her. I had planned on keeping my mouth shut but when we were out last weekend, I nearly blurted it out when we were having a one-on-one. Should I tell her or just try and forget about it?
Answer: That’s quite a sticky situation you’re in, and I don’t think there is a right answer. You’re damned if you do (because you’ll be the bearer of bad news) and damned if you don’t (because you’re withholding information she’d presumably want to know).
You need to put the ball in her court. Ask her whether she’d want hear something potentially painful or whether she’d rather remain in blessed ignorance. This is kind of unfair, as she’ll find it nearly impossible to knowingly say she doesn’t want to hear a secret about her, but at least it gives her the option to decide for herself. If she decides she wants to hear it, she’ll feel like she at least had a hand in the situation, instead of having it dumped on her (by you).
If she chooses not to hear it, zip your lips, but be certain that it will come up again in the not-so-distant future.